Types of Mothers I Love to Hate - Part 2

Now for my rant about my second favorite (and probably most frustrating) type of mom I love to hate.

The Wimpy Mamma

This type of mom doesn't usually have a full head of hair, since most of it falls out in chunks from all the stress she suffers. Reason? Her two or less children are brats. And please don't go saying they're not because they really and truly are. These little people learned how powerful a well timed whine is from when they were just beginning to sit up as babies. It got their wimpy mamma rushing to their cribs with all sorts of treats to keep them happy and prevent a headache from attacking her. Before they hit the age of two, they're pros at control and manipulation and their mother is a wreck.

This is the woman who brings her kids over to your house for a play date, and they proceed to break every breakable thing in sight, rip pages out of your kids favorite books to make confetti, raid your fridge, kick your dog and fling the well laid out snacks you painstakingly prepared, all around your living room. They do all this within ten minutes of entering your home, while their wimpy mother either tries to distract you, or pleads with them to "not be so naughty."

I hate wimpy mothers, but I also feel sorry for them. One time, I attempted to talk just such a wimp into growing some spine. I was not successful. She was terrified at the thought of implementing some discipline into her regular parenting schedule. "But he listens so well if I reason with him" she said all doe eyed, in defense of her angel faced but spawned by the devil 5 year old. And by that she meant bargaining with him when he demanded a reward for not going back and kicking the shit out of a three year old in the playground. "He needs to learn there are consequences for bad behavior" I said with all the wisdom of a veteran mother of two four year olds. "But how?" She wanted to know, wringing her hands. "Take away privileges, send him to his room, time out... ANYTHING" I snapped back. "But... but what if he gets angry and hates me?" she whispered. Right there I decided to go more easy on my kids for bad behavior... I was a HORRIBLE mother... They probably hated my guts.

Thank goodness, those stupid thoughts didn't last long. I decided to stay away from Wimpy Mamma instead. Who needs the guilt right? I can't be a wimp, I'm a bad ass mom and my kids know it. They may hate me from time to time, but one day they'll appreciate that I didn't stamp the word welcome on myself and take up residence on our front doorstep. And, yeah yeah, I give them treats, let them off the hook occasionally, love them a lot, blah blah blah. Judge me all you like... at least I'm not a wimp.

Up next in TMILH: The Ultra Cool Mamma - Stay tuned!


Caba said...

I'm with you. I want to be a bad-ass mom. I think I'm on the right path, since I pretty much yell at my kids 24/7.

Mike Casey said...

You gotta be firm and set boundaries with your kids - better to be a good parent with kids who hate your guts than a bad parent with kids who love (to walk over) you.