How Shall I Raise Your Kids Today?

Many people believe it's best to allow their children to grow as they will. Which, I think is fine and dandy if it to use the common phrase "works for them." However, my neighbors seem to believe it's best to allow their kids to grow as they will, OUTSIDE MY HOUSE. This is becoming a problem, one I can deal with easily if J promises to keep me on a firm leash while I go exchange words with those mothers. But, he won't do it, because I know he'd rather stand at a distance and watch. He has a sick sense of humor and a penis mind (common among mankind) which secretly wishes to see me mud wrestle naked with some buxom redhead.... not that we have redheads around these parts. But never mind him.

Coming back to these kids who are being raised by fresh air, a window, all my plants and my front door. I have no idea what to do with them. Now, if they came out to play every evening like normal kids do, that would be fine. But no, they're out as soon as they get back from school, still in their uniforms, eating their chips, drinking their Cokes and yelling, jumping, running, and yelling some more to burn off their sugar highs. They just won't frickin go HOME dammit! 8am the younger ones are out... they're toddlers, not supervised I presume because their mother's god is probably looking out for their asses and making sure they don't climb the balcony railings and plummet into the never used, except as a garbage dump swimming pool of the neighboring building. And when they all get together in the afternoons, it's complete chaos till nearly midnight. I hate them, all of them and their snotty noses, filthy bodies and disgusting clothes stinky feet and grating screechy voices.

I hate their parents more and I want to leave large paper bags filled with crap outside their front doors, set them on fire, ring the bell and run. And I hate that this country has no Child Protective Services who I could set on three of my neighbors asses in a moment. I've had enough and today is the day I am going over to each of their houses to insist they go back to their villages, farms, screechy planet or wherever the hell they came from. Either that or I'm getting two of this kind of dog as family pets. They would look so pretty seated outside my front door.