Got Nationality?

I've spent the last two days mulling around a few topics in my head, for a possible blog post. One subject has been on the forefront of my mind though and it relates to race. Oh yes, I said RACE people. That little four letter word which incites fierce debate, and feelings of righteousness. No newbie blogger would touch that subject with a ten foot pole, and I'm not going to either. But, I do have a story about how stupid some people here (in my country) can be when it comes to people of other nationalities and race. It's just a little glimpse, and an extreme one, but funny as hell... Or painful, depending on which way you look at it.

A couple of years back, or less (I can't be certain), I was out shopping with my sister who was visiting from overseas, and another good friend. So there we are, at the mall, snacking instead of shopping, when we see this girl we knew from years ago. She was a few tables down, with her kid and a large man... who was white. Not uncommon here, because plenty of our locals marry "foreigners" or Goras (white people) as we like to call them. My sister being one of them. Anyway, try as I did to avoid us running into her, it of course had to go and happen. Damn my sister and her niceness! And all in a rush of hellos, and how are yous (from my sister), this one does not bother responding, but then suddenly bursts out with This is my husband, he's a German. It took exactly five seconds for her to finish saying "German."

I watched my sister freeze, and could almost hear her willing herself to maintain her polite smile, while my friend rolled her eyes and then tried desperately to make eye contact with me. I did not give in, because I was too busy scanning the stores to see if they had trophies or medals on sale, so I could buy one for the idiot married to a German and congratulate her on her husband's nationality. And, if that wasn't enough bullshit which spewed from her mouth, she follows up with He's from Germany Wow, no shit Eisenstein! I swear to God I thought Germans were from Antigua. It was at the tip of my tongue, but I swallowed it and pretended I couldn't see my friend who was rolling her eyes even more, and making soft gagging noises, while my sister looked desperately at me for help. She wasn't getting any.

I sometimes do not jump into these situations with my smart ass mouth, not because they could lead to bloody lips, but because I have this sick and twisted need to watch asshats turn themselves into giant sized asshats. And, I'm glad I did, because years later, it's given me good material for a post on an otherwise non-creative day.And no, that wasn't the end of it. There was no stopping the idiot "who is a rush of breath went on He's here from Germany, and we'll be going to Germany soon, because he works in Germany and so I'll be joining him with my daughter in Germany. Never in my life have I heard the name of that country mentioned as much as I heard it in those three minutes.

Really, you can't make this shit up. This is the ultimate goal of a certain segment of Pakistani society... Marry the Gora and show it off. Oh, and get the passport! "This is my husband, he's a German" Who says stuff like that? I mean really, who? She never told us his name, and he just stood there like an ass, blushing, while she grinned like the cat who got the German canary.

I wonder how she would introduce him to her German friends if she should aquire any? What would she say? Probably This is my husband, he's German like you are. I on the other hand am a Pakistani, from Pakistan, but once I get my passport, I'll be a German, from Germany, because this is my husband, and he's a German.

It really was a buy gun, shoot self encounter.

Have a great weekend everyone, and by the way... This is my husband, he's... my husband.



Caba said...

That just makes me laugh ... the first thing I thought of was responding with something like "This is my husband, he is a jackass". Of course, I would never REALLY say that about my husband ... haha ...

Lynette said...

I was in a rush to get out but had to read this first..
Gawd!!.. She's such a nut job.
He's German from Germany.. HAHAHA.. What a fruitcake..

Melissa Sue said...

At least he'll never be mistaken for the gardener.

Sheila said...

You're right, you really can't make up stupid crap like this, and unfortunately, when it happens, you can't RUN from it fast enough either. Poor man. And your husband is a hunk, btw. :)