Good Morning, Gone Bad!

So, picture this. You're up early on a lovely Wednesday morning, enjoy a nice cup of coffee out on your balcony, before you wake the huz and kids. You get them ready (the kids, not the huz), pack their lunches, and spend a good ten extra minutes taking care of those "must dos" they probably plan and plot every night to spring on your already cluttered brain each a.m. I must remove my pencil case from my backpack, rearrange it's contents, and put it back in... I must, I must! or I must ask Mommy if I can take my favorite doll to school, or my other favorite doll, or my other, other favorite doll. You get the picture. So, once they all leave, and silence descends, what do you do?

The laundry!

Well, yes, but only after you make yourself a nice big mug of coffee, and either watch the news, or go online. You never do laundry before you de-stress from the morning's madness. Never! And, if you do, then stop doing it, because it makes the rest of us lazy ass stay at home parents look bad.

Right, so you were supposed to be picturing something, and here it is again. The kids are gone, the spouse has left for work, you have your coffee cup steaming, the house is quiet and humming, and everything is lovely. Then you check your email, and there's one from estranged FIL. Nothing to be alarmed about, since all mails from the in-law camp are email forwards. You know, those annoying and crappy mails which you just delete without another thought? So, you get ready to hit 'delete' when you notice the title "Incorruptible Corpses."

Hmmm could this be some scientific article? You wonder, and you click 'Open'

BAD move!

Very bad!

Image after image after damn image of saint corpses! Or corpses of saints.

I mean... Who? Why? WTF?

Who sends people shit like that? Why the hell do they need to send it to anyone? WTF is their problem? Seriously!

And, some of them had their eyes open! OMG it freaked me the hell out! Like who the fuck wouldn't be freaked out by an image of an eyes open corpse of Imelda Lambertini, who apparently is some fourteenth century saint, who was twelve years old when she died?

Twelve!

Eyes wide open!

Corpse!

For the love of God, would people please, please stop ramming all this religious stuff down everyone's throats already? I am so sick of this shit, honestly! And, if that wasn't enough, there was all this bolded text praising Jesus and God. Really? You're praising God for a corpse? Have you stopped taking your meds? Do you even have meds? Is it OK if I insist you take meds? Like right now?

It's bad enough living in a place, where every other day you're subjected to news stories of violence, and horrible images, without having to open your personal email and see more crap. Now, I'll be dreaming about Imelda and all those saint corpses all night.

Message: Catholics! Bury your dead... PLEASE!





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7 comments:

Capri said...

What the freaking...!?!? Corpses? Pictures of people after they freakin died!? Gah, I'm convinced some sick necro must've started that one! *rebelling stomach*

Seriously, who in their right mind passes on this sick trash?

And putting religion into it is absolutely ludicrous! As a Christian, I detest all religious chain letters, and unfortunately I'm a very rare breed on the net because of it!

Sorry your eyes were subjected to that garbage, hoping it is all just photoshopped crap although even that would be sick. Ugh, tasteless beyond the pale and an absolute black eye on religion via the dreaded spammy chain letters yet again.

http://ChristiansBreakingChainFwds.ning.com

Renée Neary said...

I agree--that is gruesome!
Sort of goes with all the other upside down weirdness of religion in general--I mean, seriously, when brought down to its basic elements, Christianity (and probably other religions, but I'm no authority on them) is really really seriously disturbing. Praising a deity believed to have planned and caused the murder of his own son? Praising the son for dying and considering themselves "saved" by his blood? It's barbaric and seriously, deeply, disturbing.
Outside of a religious context, this is as sick as the Silence of the Lambs.
Thank you for another excellent post! Love your blog!

SweetpeaG said...

How macabre! Next time you contemplate opening an email from him you'd better have a double martini (not coffee) on the table to accompany you! Hope your day improved.

Caba said...

Whoa. I so didn't think this is where this post was going to end. Seriously. I thought you were going somewhere else. I can't believe "pictures of corpses" wasn't what I thought it was going to be. Wow. Just wow.

Capri said...

Pretty much every religion's history, heck human society's history period - has disturbing elements in it. The ancient Greek, Roman and Egyptian pagan religions weren't featuring gods and kings that were all sitting around chanting "Cum Baya" either.

I'm not going to pretend to understand any of the sacrifices that went on in history, Christianity related or not. But foor every force there is an equal and opposite force which means God wasn't exactly the only one deciding stuff back in the days of Jesus's death. Humanity screwed up. The devil screwed up and helped humanity to royally screw up. Nuff said. I could say that if I was God - but that would be incredibly arrogant of me so I won't.

Anyway...I am damn sick of religion-exploiting chain letters making a mockery of Christians, and sick of Christians blindly passing them along, believing that just because the word Jesus is mentioned that somehow makes this insidious spam monumentally holy and special and good and true and all that stuff.

I am sick of anti-Christians pouncing on every idiotic chain they get from every unthinking and easily duped religious person, using these chains as excuses to go around bashing Christians because that's the new cool thing to do on the net.

I am sick of so many Christians who, even though they have the sense not to believe every chain letter or pass it along, they are still so damn complacent about it and never speak up against this phony religious spam, because they still aren't getting why this trash is, well, such ludicrous trash. Very few Christians see the real picture of what pseudo-religious chain letters are actually doing, and believe you me, it ain't saving people or making anyone the least bit interested in even learning anything about Christ, not even out of curiosity.

These chain letters are doing the opposite of what they fool everybody into thinking they're doing.

Friendship spam doesn't strengthen friendships, it weakens them. Sick kid spam doesn't save sick kids, it swamps charities who have to answer tons of requests for info on the latest sick kid hoax, which takes time away from what the charities are trying to do, save lives.

Good luck chain letters? Well, they can cause bad luck in the way of getting any recipients extremely ticked off at the idiocy of the forwarders.

So, chain letters suck. Sick kid chain letters double-suck. Sick kid, friendship, malicious rumors and pseudo-religious chain letters quadruple-stink-suck!

Right now, Christians have one of the worst reputations on the net for chain-addiction. But Christians are not the only people who send chain letters. It's just that most people hardly ever complain about chain letters when religious references are absent.

Karen said...

Jeez, Anne, that was a fairly gruesome eye-opener! ;-)

(One can't possibly focus on laundry after dealing with that.)

Religious spam is my deal breaker. It sends me through the roof, and effectively ends the relationship.

Saqib said...

Awesome stuff! I lived in Karachi for like 8 years (yes, the entire bush years) and then moved back to New York. I didn't get a chance to engage with Christians (aside from drivers and sweepers, shame) so I really enjoy the insights you bring.

Adding you to the 'ol blog roll as well.