Never Turn 30 - In Just 7 Days!

Recently, my Facebook notifications page has been flooded with requests from friends, asking me to join the new Ponds, Never Turn 30 fan page. Out of complete curiosity, and not once thinking that maybe Ponds invented a new face cream which can turn back the clock for the past 30 crowd, I clicked on the link. Over 20,000 fans, (and I'm betting so many of them are over 30, including most of my friends who sent me the request to join in the first place.) What's wrong with this picture?

Absolutely nothing! Because, in this good old land of the pure, we expect (see: demand) that 1) Our women look eternally youthful. 2) Maintain a "fair" complexion. And, most recently 3) Never turn 30.

I can't say this any other way, but how it always sounds in my head... Are you fucking kidding me? From the whole wide world of advertising slogans to create for their anti-ageing skin cream (which btw they promise works in just 7 days), they go with "Never Turn 30." So, dear Ponds, WTF?

With Fair & Lovely continuing to do a booming business in Pakistan, brides to be going bat shit crazy trying to lighten their skin for their new husbands (and, mother hen-laws), the Sunday Dawn newspaper's "Matrimonial" section requesting "pretty", "fair", or "light complexion" girls for their "Smart, handsome, tall, U.S. Green Card holder" sons (another rant, another blog post) and numerous concoctions of "fairness" inducing creams, either homemade or available at salons across the country, there is my friends something very, very wrong with our society. 

And, much as I love him, Shahrukh Khan is an ass for promoting "Fair and Handsome" for men.

I want a fair daughter-in-law.
Her kids are so cute because she married a gora.
The younger sister is so much prettier (because her skin is several shades lighter than the other one).
Did you go to the beach? OMG you've become so black.
What does he see in her? She's so dark!

Common phrases heard around town.

And, while we're at it, let's not turn 30. I mean, I can't do that since I'm over 30 anyway, but if I were a 20 something, I'd want to not turn 30 so bad, I'd apply the new  Ponds anti-ageing face cream, dress my wrists in crystal bracelets, and dance naked around burning mint leaves, for seven straight days, praying to the gods to strike me dead when I hit 29.

We are a fickle bunch of women if this is the kind of BS we depend on to define ourselves. We are setting a horrible example for our daughters, if we insist that youthful skin is paramount to our success, be it in securing a job or a husband (I almost vomited while typing that, because I'm allergic to the "securing husband" business as well). 

The feminist in me is spitting tacks over this 30 = Over the hill nonsense, and so is the spa loving, high heel shoes adoring, herbal facials (for purely relaxation purposes) obsessed woman in me.

I've never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful.  ~Author Unknown



karachi feminist said...

lol! great post. I was about to write a post on single women over 30.

A Restless Mind With A Sensitive Heart! said...

Hi! thanks for ur comments on my blog. am glad u liked it!

u have a nice blog, will come back soon.

U r very right, fairness of skin decides so much in our society... that's sad.

keep blogging


u2bale said...

Perhaps its a sick and sardonic take at how women die young or perhaps *should* die young... it just seems a little suicidal and a little sick - "never turn 30"

As for marrying "goras" - note for a people still caught up in the colonial /gora complex, its strange how marrying genuine caucasians is not considered 'acceptable' and also, it just means that this nation is obsessed with color otherwise known as "racism" - judging people by the color of their skin.. so interesting that the hypocrisy is lost on the people, daily.

Hiyaa said...

What a marvellously whacky sense of humour! Totally loved the post and this is my first visit. I sure am following your blog. You got so much pouring out, so much of pure logic and rationalism.
Yes, I love SRK very much but wonder why he had to do the fairness cream advert (I still love him and swap the channel when that fairness advert comes).

I grew up with those very statements. Heck! I am over 30 and am so loving it! Your post totally rocked!