Dear Women in Black


I'm trying, I'm really trying to make friends with some of you while we wait for our kids at the school gate. But it's hard. Hard because I wish you wouldn't pointedly stare at my breasts like they have no business being hidden behind only a bra, a tunic top and a stole. Hard because you then stare at my jeans as if blue is an offensive color which raises your temper and/or makes you recoil in horror. Hard because one of you have daily for the last one week asked me if I wear colored contact lenses. I guess saying no in English, then Urdu, then English and Urdu while shaking my head from side to side hasn't convinced you that my eye color is natural like everyone elses. Neither has me sticking my finger in my right eye and rubbing my iris helped, so when I ignored your question today I don't think it was very nice of you to roll your eyes in disgust and whisper something to the other cow standing beside you who looked at me and giggled, which by the way I think she shouldn't do. I mean, some women can giggle and look cute, but some women just sound like hyenas and could keep a dentist busy for a few years. She really needs to do something about those teeth of hers, like have them knocked out by a professional boxer.

I liked standing near quiet and polite Mrs. something or the other. She was very nice and we chatted happily about our kids, the school and how rudely you all were staring at us while clearly ripping us to pieces, all the while thinking we didn't know. How dumb can you be? Five women all weighing close to or over two hundred lbs, covered from head to toe in black, scrambling to get closer to each others bulk and speaking in low fog horn sounding voices in an open area less than five feet from everyone else thinking they can't be heard? Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Thankfully I don't carry a grudge, I prefer to ignore. And ignore you I will from now on while I privately thank you for giving me new topics to blog about.

Sincerely,
Alien Mom


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5 comments:

MommyBrain said...

Ok.. you just made me almost ruin my freaking computer... I was laughing so hard... drinking my water... OMG.. that is just too funny... Dang it girl... i loves ya!

Michelle said...

Anne, I've said it before .. you KILL me !! LOL

MammaDawg said...

OMG - I can actually picture the scene in my head. Girl - I know EXACTLY what you mean!

Steph said...

LMAO!! That was too damn funny Anne!

mrs.izzy said...

I don't know enough background information here but I can still see that it's a tough situation. I don't know why there has to be a divide among people.